it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
