so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
