your room smells of hookers.
And success
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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