***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
