2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Found your dick twin last night
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have aggressive nipples.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
