do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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