quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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