hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
