she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The air taste purple.
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