she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
The ass gains better be worth it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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