Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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