Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
