She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
