When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
