Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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