I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
pray to the hookup gods
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
