The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
