I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
