Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize