just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am mentally ready for anal.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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