After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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