Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
