Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize