i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dick very happy bro
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
