she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
As shirtless as possible
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
