we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
