All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize