therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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