If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My balls are so social today.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
