weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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