Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
