if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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