I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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