9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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