I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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