I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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