Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
