i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
