Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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