After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you would pick up someone in the library
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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