thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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