There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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