so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
