I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm both gender and math confused
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
