That's intense
no. you can't hotbox the world.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
