why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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