The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize