you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your shirt... Was in my pants
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
