Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
