I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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