Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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