I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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