mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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