yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
