I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
