:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
