the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
