I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
